The Blossom & Fade

There is a hatred in me regarding the people of my state  the rest of India on a particular matter. And this concerns the female population a lot more than the male population. And my bit of advice to the girls & women in my state is – if you cannot follow through on a romance, do not fall in love & start one!

In Kerala, like most of India, arranged marriages are the norm although that is changing and you see a lot more love marriages. But still a vast majority of marriages are decided by the parents of the groom & bride. In most cases the groom & bride have the final say that yes they would like to get married to the person that their family has found for them but in some cases, that isn’t so. For many years I have marveled at the bitches who fall in love with a guy, start a romance for a couple of years knowing fully well that their family is not going to agree to let their daughter married to the guy of their choice. In some case the parents say that the girls cannot choose and in some it’s that the parents do not approve of the guy and hence they girl cannot marry him. Whatever the reason, the girl in question should know that come hell or high water, her parents are not going to allow her to get married to a guy that they themselves have not screened and selected. By screening I mean – religion, caste, family, financial status, social status, boy’s reputation, family’s reputation, boy’s job, possibly even the marital & financial status of his siblings & their spouses.

I have seen it happen so many times. They meet and become infatuated while in their late teens or early 20s, usually in a college. It can sometimes be at their first entry level job too. They start hanging out in the same group and then exchange cell phone numbers. They have their time alone in college or the office. They talk at all times on the phones but in especially the girl’s case, she does it in secret. She will talk on the way to the bus stop from her house, in the bus, on the way to the office or on the way back home. Once she reaches home the calls stop in front of her family, until she can find some time alone in her room. They talk late till night, risking sleepy faces & tired eyes the next day but it’s all for love, right? Yet when the time comes for marriage, she hesitates and then then approaches her folks timidly. They are appalled and say no. Father even threatens physical abuse. Mother feigns a fainting spell and an appeal to her “god – where did I go wrong?” Father might fall sick and either parent might get a symptom or two of a heart attack (just like in the movies in India). Then the girl calls the guy – “I cannot go against the wishes of my parents! We cannot be together!”

The guy – fucked! I thought this stopped a few years back but I still see cases like this every few weeks or so. Someone I know or used to know or someone who is related or known to someone I know or related too! I came to know of 2 such cases in the last 10 days and another related case which happened to my cousin. Next post will focus on such cases. One more thing I have to say is that the ease in which is it to get a cell phone and cheaper rates for calls & SMSes are to blame for a lot of “romances” in blossoming. Possibly these girls are bored and want some entertainment until their parents find a “suitable” match for them!

4 thoughts on “The Blossom & Fade

  1. It sounds quite manipulative and foolish on the part of the girls. They obviously know their parents won’t approve of their choice so it seems a little cruel to keep the guy on tenterhooks. But doesn’t he also know it won’t work out? Sounds like a difficult situation all round…

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