I’ve become very much a recluse when it comes to family gatherings. Somehow I just don’t find any motivation to go and visit or meet up with family these days. I do wish the best for my relatives, well a couple of names might be excluded from that list, and I do like meeting my cousins but the thought of spending a few hours in a house, hall, apartment or club is just too taxing for me.
I wonder how & why that happened. I don’t know but have some theories on it. I feel that I am being judged, discussed about behind my back and maybe even dismissed as a wash out by a section of the family. I could care less but I don’t want to give them the opportunity if that is the case. I hate the inevitable dull & boring questions and probing into my life which is not genuine concern or the eagerness to know more about you – it’s to compare and later criticize.
My cousin brother is getting married on the coming Sunday, a fact which I almost forgot, and I am also invited to spend Saturday evening at their house as well. Although I am fond of my cousin and haven’t seen him in a couple of years, I do not look forward in anticipation at the thought of spending all that time with others. Perhaps if the gathering were smaller I might be cool with it. But weddings are so…..hot and sweaty and there’s too many people and kids running about and the probing and the questions and the talk.
Oh the talk! If the members of this extended family is best at anything it’s to talk your head off. Insensate, mindless, nerve wrecking chatter that borders on delusion, thoughts of wishful grandeur, irritating and boring in some cases. I dunno, I guess I have to go but I wish I could get outta it.
On another note – Happy Birthday Manoj!