TMNT Reboot By Michael Bay

As a huge fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies and animated cartoons – the whole franchise in total – I join in with my fellow fans, who number in the millions, in being outraged at what is being done to a beloved franchise. Cable channel Nickelodeon (a subsidiary of Viacom) had purchased all of Mirage’s rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles property in 2009 and has roped in director/producer Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes partners Brad Fuller and Andrew Form on to produce the next film that reboots the film series.

First of all – another fucking reboot? How about just continuing with the established storyline for once and growing a pair of balls instead of wimping out and doing a reboot. And to add insult to injury, Michael fucking Bay? This guy is known for ripping beloved franchises and making crappy action movies out of them. He has made a mockery of Transformers that most long time fans won’t even watch beyond the first movie (he is coming up with a 4 in the series). He has rebooted beloved horror franchises and characters in Friday The 13th & A Nightmare On Elm Street – like all those movies that came before his doesn’t even matter. Oh and also The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (although I have seen neither the original nor the remakes). But the worst is what he has in store for the turtles!

He is reboot the series so much that their origins have changed from baby turtles who were exposed to a toxic chemical that was dumped into the sewers of NYC and became highly intelligent and humanoid like to aliens from another planet!!! Alien turtles and inter-dimensional beings! I shall let that sink in in case you haven’t heard about this till now.

Bay is promising fans an epic return-to-form for the sewer-dwelling masked heroes. Despite public fan outcry, Bay believes that the alien “Ninja Turtles” could inspire a whole new generation of kids to believe in Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael again. To address the almost unanimously expressed outrage on the detail for the new live-action film (set to be released next year) Bay said “”Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.”

Really? Fuck you and shove a Transformer up your ass!

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