Versatile Reptile Smile

My dearest Selma – a wonderfully talented blogger, writer, friend & wholly awesome woman/human being, has tagged me for this little Versatile Blogger award thingy that you see here. Thanks for that love, and now I have to tag a few bloggers and also share 7 facts about myself (as per the rules of the award). I’m an open book but I going to try to keep the facts as fresh as possible, which is hard. Anyways here goes:

  1. I get depressed a lot and when I get depressed I eat. I buy candy bars or cream biscuits/cookies and sit in my bedroom and eat them, using the temporary sugar rush to fill in the voids in my life. I never think that anything can ever help so I turn to food. Or I go to a store and buy a few snacks in a paper bag and eat them in my room. And I am already fat enough. Which makes me even more depressed.
  2. I love telling jokes & incidents from my life. Especially if they are funny; I just love to make people laugh. Cracking people up by telling them something funny or embellishing facts a little in order to make them hilarious and getting a top notch reaction is something I hold dearly. I’m a trainer at heart and spend a lot of time standing in front of a group of people and talking to them while they are seated. When I get a laugh from them, it’s like I’m a stand up comic and I’ve just delivered a great joke. I live for that. It makes me feel great.
  3. I’m pretty untidy. My bedroom is a big mess. I have stacks of old magazines, books, cds & stuff in two cupboards that are getting dusty and they are all just tossed up there. There’s old newspapers here and there and an old big chair in one corner on which plastic covers filled with cds, dvds, books and crap are all piled on. I just do not have enough shelves or storage area for everything and hence they pile up but I am not neat. Plain and simple. There are 6 empty bottles of water in my room – all empty! I’m too lazy to fill them up and keep them away in the kitchen.
  4. I get cramps quite easily. This is because I sweat a lot and lose a lot of water & salt from my body. And since I am a big guy, I need to drink a lot of water or else I dehydrate quickly. Since it is now summer, I’m constantly filling a bottle of water and cooling it in the freezer and sipping them slowly throughout the day. I do not drink enough water at work, which is a problem. As I type this I’m drinking from a 600 ml Coke bottle filled with ice cold water. I have a 2 liter bottle chilling in the freezer which I will take post lunch. I hate getting cramps, especially in the abdominal area. It’s murder and it hurts like fuck & I hate it.
  5. Ever since I turned 30 I’ve had this feeling that I’m destined to be alone and live my life as a bachelor. At times it hurts and I get depressed (and fact 1 takes over) and at times I feel that I have accepted it. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends and been involved in serious relationships with these girls but it’s been a long time since then (I’m 34 years and 7 months old  now) and I feel like my chance has gone by. In the last 5 years, I’ve been in love once and got close to another woman, who I’ve met but had a great rapport with. The first case, the lady got to know about my feelings and for a while I thought she felt something too; in fact during a very emotional moment when she was leaving my city and going back home, she actually said that she shares the same feelings. But a few days later things got cold between us and I had a falling out with her due to her attitude about some stuff and I’ve only spoken to her twice since then and both times were over 2.5 years ago. The other lady, was 7 years younger than me, so I never let things go far beyond friendship but she could have been the one. Due to some complications regarding her family, I knew that it would not be possible. So I never pursued it.
  6. One of my biggest regret is not pursuing musical lessons, especially learning how to play the guitar and be able to accompany my favourite songs on my own axe. I would have loved to be able to play screaming, lead guitar and wail like so many guitarists out there do. I don’t mean necessarily as a professional rock guitarist (that would be cool though) but generally as a recreational guitarist who plays for fun but with serious chops. I can play air guitar like the best and even make all those faces and poses but playing the real deal would be so awesome.
  7. Many a times in my life I wish I could just blast back at people. I regret that I was so scared of losing my job that I just didn’t stand up to the moron who took over as center head/DGM in my previous office. I took most of the blames, for things that I’,not even responsible for and let myself be a target board. If I wasn’t afraid of money issues, I would have told him to go fuck off. I would have said a lot of things, done a lot of things and stood up to many other people regarding other matters. But I never usually do. And people can read me well and hence have at times used me as a door mat. I don’t want to be that person. I’m nice and I’m sweet and I’m friendly and I’m helpful but I don’t want to ever feel like I’m being used for target practice again. I want things to be nice and fair but not at my expense.

Now, I’m supposed to tag 7 people and I would love to read about what you guys are going to write. So here are the 7 people that I choose:

Meleah, Lady Banana, Technodoll, Toronto Mike, Phaedra, Christelle & Heather. These are some of my favourite bloggers.

Go for it.

2 thoughts on “Versatile Reptile Smile”

  1. Thank you for doing this, Roshan. You are awesome. I am so sorry you get depressed. I know how hard a thing it is to deal with. I still think there is someone out there for you – I can just feel it. You’re too good a person for it not to happen.

    I am angry that you had such a difficult situation in your former job and that you were blamed unfairly. That has happened to me too. In the past I didn’t speak up as much as I do now and let people get away with things they shouldn’t. I know how much it hurts when that happens. I am sorry.

    But I just wanted to say that as a guitar player/piano player myself – it is never too late to learn. Never. My sister is a music teacher and has some students who are in their 70s. They love it. If you really want to play guitar, you should. It is a lot of fun and a great stress release. I would love to see you rockin’ on. That would be really cool!

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