Tired Brain Can't Think

I’m so tired that I can’t be bothered to do anything on the web or in my blog. I’m spending more time at the office and my brain does not want to think right now. It should be better by tomorrow. I had a few things that I wanted to write about this week but it escapes me at the moment. I reached the office at 10 am and I just reached back home at 11:15 pm. All I want to do is watch an episode of Farscape that I downloaded and then sleep for 6 hours or so. Goodnite folks!

Silence Isn't Golden When I'm Holding It Inside

I’ve always been known as an outspoken guy, speaks his mind but is mostly polite. When we wanted something from our elders, my cousins usually nominated me to go and speak about it to them. I’ve had that effect on most people – at school, college, the computer training institution I went to and most work places. I can be quite charming when I want to. But I also kind of speak out against bullshit. One of my favourite quotes, that I think I made up, is ‘Shit by any other name will still stink’! I tend to speak my mind against red-tapeism, government rulings, religious subjugation, anything that political party does and stuff that corporate management does.

I try to call a spade a spade. Political correctness is hiding behind yo mama’s skirts. We have one life, one planet and these bastards are fucking it up for the rest of us. If that aspect of my life has a theme song, it would be Don’t Damn Me by Guns n’Roses. This is a rant in the shape of a song and its in your face, unapologetic and a big ‘FUCK You’ to the naysayers. In the shadow of their big hits like November Rain, Sweet Child O’Mine, Paradise City etc, this song got lost. But it’s one of my favs of GnR.


Don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
An I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me

Be it a song or casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there’s a reaction

Sometimes I wanna kill
Sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna destroy
Sometimes I wanna cry
Sometimes I could get even
Sometimes I could give up
Sometimes I could give
Sometimes I never give a fuck

It’s only for a while
I hope you understand
I never wanted this to happen
Didn’t want to be a man
So I hid inside my world
I took what I could find
I cried when I was lonely
I fell down when I was blind

But don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
An I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me

How can I ever satisfy you
An how can I ever make you see
That deep inside we’re all somebody
An it don’t matter who you wanna be
But now I gotta smile
I hope you comprehend
For this man can say it happened
‘Cause this child has been condemned
So I stepped into your world
I kicked you in the mind
An I’m the only witness
To the nature of my crime

But look at what we’ve done
To the innocent and young
Whoa listen to who’s talking
‘Cause we’re not the only ones
The trash collected by the eyes
And dumped into the brain
the mountain of the cannibal gods movie
Said it tears into our
conscious thoughts
You tell me who’s to blame

I know you don’t wanna hear me cryin’
An I know you don’t wanna hear me deny
That your satisfaction lies in your ILLUSIONS
But your delusions are yours and not mine
We take for granted we know the whole story
We judge a book by its cover
And read what we want
Between selected lines

Don’t hail me
An don’t idolize the ink
Or I’ve failed in my intentions
Can you find the missing link
Your only validation is living your own life

Vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time
So I send this song to the offended
I said what I meant and I’ve never pretended
As so many others do intending just to please
If I damned your point of view
Could you turn the other cheek

But don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
An I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me
Don’t damn me
I said don’t damn me
I said don’t hail me
Don’t damn me

The Return Of BRSC Man

crossroads movie download He’s back! I knew I’d see him someday but I didn’t think that it would be this long. I did live close to his area after all and went in the same bus route as him. So our paths should have crossed many more times. But it took until this evening…. I finally met BRSC Man again.

Ok you have to read about my introduction to him which took place in March of 2006.

I still remember him so well. I blogged about meeting & speaking with him in my previous blog.

BRSC Man or Bus Riding Social Commentator Man was in the same bus as I was in today evening. I had a doubt that it was him as he moved towards the side, on my left, and paid for his ticket. Soon enough he started talking to me about the absurdity of some procession by a political / religious group, which was causing problems for normal people. Several buses were not plying their normal routes and instead having to go round about that would cost them an hour atleast and many extra kilometers. Some buses decided that they were not going to run at all in the evening and hence the ones that did run were packed!

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We started talking about the problems that such procession creates and then I mentioned the fact that I remembered him from that day, all those months ago. He remembered me too and we continued our chat. He is a non-political atheist like myself, just wanting to get home after he had to go to visit a sick relative and worried about what hour he was was gonna get back. Why can’t the stupid political parties and religious fuck alls just leave the rest of us alone and not trouble us by blocking our roads and restricting us from what we should be allowed to do? I don’t think thats possible cause for that to happen these idiots will have to grow a brain!

Dad, Mom & Baby

IMG_0986, originally uploaded by computer_saskboy.
I have no idea what this statue is called. I found this photo in Saskboy’s flickr site today. Its located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and I think its probably about immigration, as the dad has the bags in his hands and probably a tribute to the immigrants that make up Toronto (49% of her citizens were born elsewhere). Atleast thats what I think it means; I’ve put a comment for Saskboy to let me know what it’s about. Or maybe Toronto Mike can.

Gentleman’s Game?

I have never been a big fan of cricket. I spent my first 11 years being totally oblivious to it, having grown up during that period in Kuwait and the sport being almost non-existent in that country. When back in India all my cousins played the game and all my relatives watched it on tv, so I watched it with them. We played football as well and watched the international & some domestic as well on tv. I tried to like cricket just because it was all around me and for some time I even managed to watch full matches and place bets with my friends at school. As I entered my late teens, I just gave up and started ignoring the game. Heck, I am even annoyed at cricket. for its overblown cliches and making cricket players commercial stars in India. It is the only sport in the world where the referees & commentators are among the biggest celebs and have their own shows. And you can forget about test cricket – 5 fucking days! Heck there is only one other thing that takes 5 days to finish and it is less bloody and less messy than test cricket.

download donkey xote Anyway, the point of this entry is to comment on an article in the Indian Express which happened to catch my eye. Where are the gentleman? cries out the headline in big bold letters. The latest reason for the lament is the racist abuse that Australian player Andy Symonds is supposed to have received by Indian cricketers in some matches towards the end of last year and early this year, apparently, he was called ‘monkey’ by Harbajan Singh. So now he feels what Indians its like to be called ‘Paki’, ‘Indian Dogs’ or ‘Coolie’ by white Brits, eh? (Symonds was born British).

I’m just kidding. Racism in any form is not to be tolerable and just because your people have been on the receiving end of it for generations doesn’t make it ok for you to do it. Indians, yeah buddy that means all of us, as a people are equally guilty of racism – and if you doubt it, just listen closely to some of the comments that your fellow countrymen will make at an African or an oriental or even North versus South kinda differences.

Anyway, I digress. The point I wanted to make was that cricket is not a gentleman’s game. It never was and never will be. Its only the ardent cricket fan that calls it that. So? Who cares? It doesn’t make it a gentleman’s game. Its just a cliche that was tossed about by some dumbo and the Indians ran with it. I hear it all the time; gentleman’s game and then watch the fighting start over a dispute over who is out or not. Its a game that is tainted by betting, scandals, boring personalities and bad acting by cricketers who should not be shown in commercials. There are jerks & bad guys who also play cricket, just like any other sport. Just like tennis or football or hockey or basketball. So? What’s the big deal? Just play the game or watch it if you want to. Stop your pathetic lamenting and get a life. Its a boring & over-hyped & overblown sport anyways.

Where No Blog Has Gone Before

I always get chocked up with emotional nostalgia whenever I see a Star Trek movie featuring the original cast. I love all the Star Trek franchises (I haven’t seen any episodes of Deep Space 9 yet) but the original one will stand apart because it was more character driven than the others.

I can’t wait for the new Star Trek movie even though I think its a mistake to recast the original guys. You just don’t do that. This blog will try to find out more about the build up to the most anticipated Star Trek movie ever!

Blog Long and Prosper!

At The Age of 31…

I found this link at the Dan’s website that lets you know what other people accomplished at what age. So you type in your age and see what others have done at the same age as you and you get all depressed and stuff. No, kidding. So, I took a look and here’s what it popped up for the age of 31 –

At age 31:

French Egyptologist Jean Francois Champollion deciphered the Rosetta stone.

British physician Thomas Wedgwood produced the first photograph.

Eli Terry produced clocks with interchangeable parts. He also introduced the free-trial, no-money-down sales method.

Gregory Pincus achieved in-vitro fertilization of rabbits. Later he invented the birth control pill.

Dennis Kucinich was the youngest person ever elected to lead a major American city (Cleveland).

Hmm, not very impressive and I have never heard of any of these people before. So I’m ok!

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Sens Update – Jan 26th

The Ottawa Senators have had an up & down affair since beating Detroit on the 12th of this month. Two nights ago, the Sens beat the Tampa Bay Lightning 8-4, in a game that saw Daniel Alfredsson score 3 goals and 4 assists for 7 points! Fellow top linemate Jason Spezza had 2 goals and an assist, while Antoine Vermette, Dean McAmmond & Randy Robitaille had the other 3 goals. Senators D Wade Redden had his 300th career assist on Vermette’s goal.

This was the first win after 3 losses. A 3-5 loss to Florida, 1-6 to Philly & 0-2 loss to Tampa Bay. Before that Ottawa had won 5-1 at home against the Carolina Hurricanes. Before that win and the one against Detroit there were loses to Washington 2-4 & a 1-3 loss to the New York Islanders.

Antoine Vermette had 3 goals during this period.

Taj Screws Us Over Ticket Prices

So I told you about the concert that we were supposed to go to in Calicut and that we changed our plans because the same band, 13 AD, were also going to play in Cochin on the 26th. Why would we want to spend 5 hours traveling up to Calicut & 5 hours back to watch a band that was going to play in our own city a week later? Why indeed, so all of us decided to skip the show in Calicut and wait a week for the show in Cochin.

We got screwed! I saw in the papers that the show was to be held at the Taj Residency hotel (they have a hall there) in Marine Drive. And when we checked today about tickets, we came to know that it would be Rs.1000 for tickets for single and Rs.1500 if you are a couple coming for the show! What the fuck? Who is going to pay Rs.1000 for a local band that has never made it big outside here? I thought it would be fun to go and see them play live (I’ve seen them once way back in 1992) and have some fun screaming songs with my friends from work.

The Calicut show only cost Rs.100 for a ticket! What a bummer! Holy crap! I can’t believe it and I’m sure that the show is going to be a failure as not many people are going to pay that kind of money for 13 AD. I mean, its not like they are Metallica!

A Personal Meme

A little fun little meme… Technodoll tagged me and I am too much of a gentleman to deny the only request she has asked so far ;) so here goes!

The rules for this particular meme:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I haven’t admitted this to many people, but it’s been a few years so now I’m gonna post it here for anyone to read….I had an affair with my school teacher (13 years older than me) and it was a beautiful experience that I wish could have continued.

2. When I was 14, I was punished severely for something that I didn’t do. I was rebuked and slapped by the bitch who was the principal in my school and despite some people telling her that I didn’t do it, she was so angry that she wanted to blame someone. It only got sorted out 2 months later, as this incident happened on the very last day of school before the summer hols. I still hate that arrogant woman!

3. I sometimes feel like we all are part of an Alien experiment, like mice in a maze!

4. I’ve had to have stitches done on the top of my head, at the exact same spot, for two injuries that I had 9 years apart!

5. I seem to like music by Canadian artists the best; most of my favourite bands / singers are from Canada

6. I almost got run over by a train a few days back – I was careless; talking on the phone while walking on the railway track – I looked up and there it was coming to get me and I had to stand precariously on the side until it passed!

Now, on to my tag list… I don’t know who will do this in return but I’m gonna tag



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Maybe You Should Drive – Barenaked Ladies

Maybe You Should Drive was the second full length album released by the Toronto quintet, The Barenaked Ladies, in 1994. It has gone double platinum in Canada and it was also their first album to chart in the US. Following their popular debut in Canada was a tough task but these guys did it by expanding their muses and looking for different themes. Three or four songs from this album are general fan favourites and the band usually play them at almost every concert venue. This was also original keyboardist Andrew Creegan’s last album with the band as he left BNL after the release of the album to enroll into McGill University and enhance his skills. Andy still is on good terms with the band and has recorded 4 albums with his brother Jim, who is the bassist in BNL.

The album starts with Jane; The title character is “Jane St. Clair”, and is named after the intersection of Jane Street and St. Clair Avenue in Toronto. The song is a ballad that is funny at places about an immature love relationship. Intermittently, a song about unfaithfulness from the singer as he can’t seem to chose between two girls, follows. Live fav These Apples is the next track, about feeling strange after a friend starts showing a more serious interest in the protagonist.

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I’ve never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She’d circled the word “romance”
So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said!

Following the theme of imperfect relationships comes You’ll Be Waiting. A is a silly song by the band, using the letter A to come up with various descriptions about the singer. Everything Old Is New Again is a nostalgic look at life and the choices we make and how things affect our lives. Since it was released Alternative Girlfriend has been a crowd favourite and a staple of their live shows. Its about a different kind of relationship or a different girl, compared to what the singer has been used to.

Another song about relationships is Am I The Only One precedes the interlude that is Little Tiny Song. The cheerfully optimistic about love Life In A Nutshell is next. Differences and different interests don’t come in the way of true love. The Wrong Man Was Convicted & The Great Provider conclude this really good album, mainly about relationships, the title of which seems to imply what a person would say to his / her spouse when being critized about his / her driving.

My Limitations

She was upset and she had been crying. I came to know about it a bit later and was waiting for her with a flutter in my heart. She came by and sat down. I looked at her, a bit cautiously as I didn’t want to embarrass her by admitting to fact that I knew that she had been crying. I took a brief glance and her freshly washed face failed to hide her deep emotional eyes. You could tell that she was hurt and had been hurt. I looked away since there was absolutely no way that I could keep looking at her face and still maintain a professional demeanor. My heart broke to see her that way.

As the day went by, I knew I had to say something. So a while later, I moved towards her and grabbed her hand and gave her a friendly squeeze. I let her know that I understood what she was going through and that it would be alright. She had her usual brave face on like nothing affected her and that had things under control. But I guess she knew me better. The day went by and we had stuff to do. As we started getting ready to leave for the day maybe she let her guard down and admitted that she needed some time off. I told her that I hoped that it happened, dreading the time when I had to say goodbye to her.

And then I made her laugh; like I knew I could. I did the actions like a clown, like a joker, that I knew would make her start laughing without fail. And she did – and she probably went back home with a smile on her face. Atleast I could do that….but that’s all I can do.

Always the guy who can make you laugh & smile. Nothing more. Its not in my fate. Always the joker and never the hero!


This goes out to the idiot called Aneesh, who lives somewhere in Fort Kochi. Hey Moron, get a fucking life, you asshole! This numbnuts keeps bothering me about something or the other regarding mobile phones and the industry! I think he worked at my previous company for a little while but he was fired for integrity issues. He is a neighbour of another guy who works with me and got my number from him. Aneesh called me once a long while back to check on possibilities of getting a job at my current company and not knowing much about him then, I gave him a lowdown of what possible questions they could ask during the interview.

He did not show up for the interview but kept calling me to ask some doubt or the other that he has on either mobile phones or the service! What am I, the fucking customer service center? Every time he has a question he calls. About a month back, the other guy tells me that he is fed up of this guy and Aneesh calls me pretending to be someone else (although I understood it was him) and asked me the same stupid questions about an interview in my company. I played along but kept the phone soon.

Yesterday, while I was out buying my medicine before going for some coffee, the moron calls again and says that he has a doubt on a mobile phone. I had to control my temper, since I was at the pharmacy counter but I moved aside and told the moron that I did not want to take his calls and stop treating me like I was a call center. I hope that is the end of that. Get a life you wanker!