The Clever Child

A teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”

Boy answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!”

The teacher had enough. She took the Boy to the principal’s office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, she explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy.: “9”.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy.: “36”.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.”

Madam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy both agreed.

Teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of”?

Boy, after a moment “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Boy.: “Pockets.”

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…

Boy.: Shake hands

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took out his vodka flask and took a swig.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u dont get it, u have to use urhand.

Boy.: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?


Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

“Send this Boy to Harvard, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”.

Arsenal Sign 16 Year Old Dutch Midfielder

Arsenal have agreed a deal to sign Feyenoord’s Dutch under-17s midfielder Kyle Ebecilio, 16, when he becomes available on July 1. Ebecilio was also wanted by Chelsea but Arsenal beat their London rivals and will only have to pay compensation for his training costs of around £500,000.

Feyenoord technical director Leo Beenhakker said: “We did what we could do by offering the kid a contract on time. But he wanted to wait, again this is his right. That he now goes to Arsenal, means that we only get a training allowance.”  The 16-year-old midfielder is free to leave the Dutch club on July 1stand has been courted by a number of top Premier League clubs in recent months. However, despite interest from the current English champions, the Netherlands under-17 international has chosen Arsenal because of Arsene Wenger’s proven track record in bringing young players through into the first team.

Dumb Song

Why are songs made for special occasions like a sporting event so awful? I like Waving Flag by K’naan but I just can’t stand Waka Waka by Shakira. First of all I can’t stand Shakira. I do not think she is pretty. I do not think that she is sexy! I think her voice when she sings is like a rusted metal pipe being scrapped by sandpaper. Songs for the Olympics, the World Cup and any other such big event where the world is watching – the songs are awful.

Apparently the song is based on a song by Golden Sounds, a band from Cameroon – why not something actually from the country of South Africa – and features a South African group, Freshlyground, backing her up while she shakes her hips & ass – the only talent she seems to possess. It appears Shakira reinterpreted the song without permission of the band, and after legal intervention by the band, an undisclosed deal was struck with Sony Music. “Waka Waka” is Fang language for “do it”.

Shakira – fucka fucka off!