What Keeps Me Up At Night

Strong black coffee keeps me wide awake 0~0; it gives me such a buzz that my eye lids are pried wide open and they won’t shut down.

A bad day at work usually keeps me awake. A good movie or tv series has that same affect too but only the latter is enjoyable. I especially like watching scifi movies/tv series around 11 or 12pm. Horror movies too.

But the thing that can keep me up at night the most is depression:

About where I am in life and the mistakes that I made which kept me here. About the stuff that I did that I now regret and wish I could go back in time and undo. The decisions that I made which I have to live with and the remorse that I feel when I am reminded of it by something. The fact that I’m turning 34 in a couple of days and there’ a lot of things that I haven’t achieved / done / got at this stage of my life which I think I should have by now.

But most of all what keeps me awake at night is loneliness. The feeling of emptiness that a guy feels when he does not that special woman to share his life with. I look to the right side of my bed and see the big empty space just begging to be filled with the form of a woman. To hold onto and talk to and hug to myself and feel that I’m not alone. Not having that special someone to confide in and be there for her as well.

That’s what keeps me up the most.

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Stargate Universe : Episode 15 ‚ÄúLost‚ÄĚ

So when we left the series Chloe, Eli, Greer & Scott were stranded on the planet due to the tunnel caving in and Destiny moved back into FTL and left the system. Lt. Riley finds out that soon Destiny will be out of range of the planet that the 4 are stuck on and unless something is done soon, they will be lost forever as Destiny will be heading out of this Galaxy and onto the next. Within minutes of this explanation power shuts down in systems of the ship.

According to Rush, he believes the ship is going into a power saving mode, though¬†life support is still fully operational; Rush says he will find a way to work around the problem, though Brody suggests they shouldn’t, since¬†Destiny must be doing it for a reason. Meanwhile, Riley believes the power loss may be due to the fact that¬†Destiny is old and that the computers are malfunctioning. Meanwhile, on the planet the 4 lost ones realize that they only have enough water for 2 days and will have to dig out from the tunnels to search for more. Eli deduces how to reach¬†Destiny by drawing three overlapping circles; they can’t dial straight to¬†Destiny, but if they can reach gates in between, they can catch up to it. However, there is a 50/50 chance they will go the wrong way and run into planets they already visited.

While trying to get out, a part of the tunnel caves in on top of Greer, knocking him unconscious¬† and he is separated from the other 3. By the time he comes the other have made their way on without him as they can’t contact him. Greer frantically manages to dig his way out and tries to catch up with them. Scott, Eli & Chloe make it outside the tunnels and go to the Stargate and dial out to another planet; Greer just misses them as he comes out of the tunnels. The other 3 encounter a dinosaur like creature on the first planet that they enter and leave immediately.¬† On Destiny, while rescue attempts are being made to find their lost team members, TJ informs Young that she is pregnant and that he is the father. As Greer waits at the planet’s Stargate he is met by Lt.James and team and they bring him back to Destiny.

Although Greer is returned back to the crew, they still haven’t been able to get Eli, Chloe and Scott. As the ship moves back into FTL, Greer retires sullenly to his quarters. And the 3 lost crew know that they have just missed dialing to Destiny’s stargate and perhaps can never find their way back to them.