A Christmas Carol By Yours Truly

It was the night before christmas, and all round the house
no electronic device was turned on, not laptop or mouse
I was fast asleep, safe in my comfy little bed
the sheets were pulled up, right up to my head

Suddenly a little noise like sharp fingernails on glass
Woke me up from slumber and I sat up on me ass
Outside the window was a crinkly, wrinkly old face of a man
How did he get so high and on what did his legs stand?

I was happy; “it’s Santa” squealed my voice so high
At last in my 30s he deemed me good, I thought with a sigh
He’s brought me all sorts of gifts that I could ever want
And if I said that I believe in Santa, I would never fear a taunt

However my happiness came crashing down in a moment of clarity
It was not jolly Saint Nick but a dirty old bastard of clergy
It was a Catholic priest, as gay as the night is dark
So I shoved his ladder and down fell the old fart!!

Fucking pervert!!

An attempt at a politically incorrect Christmas Carol  by Roshan Gopal Krishnan