A Fear I’m Working to Overcome

A fear that I have had for a few years now is of losing a job. I mean outright losing, on the spot and ending up with no money. It hasn’t happened to me since 2003 and that was because the stupid company that I had joined went bankrupt and couldn’t pay us our salaries. Nothing that I did. The next job I had, I left on my own choice – made up my mind one month in advance, went to search out for job, landed one and quit. The one after that I again left out of my own accord looking for a better opportunity. That brings me to my last job. The story there was very different.

I was ok there for a very long time and had 4 years there. It was all due to one individual, one bastard sonofabitch that I left. I could have fought to stay on but as long as he was in charge I knew things would not be good and I had to leave. I served a 2 month notice and I left. Did the decent thing, in fact quite a decent thing but still it was not really on my terms. I didn’t want to leave at that point. I wasn’t exactly going great guns and this asshole-in-charge was not supporting me and also creating problems but still leaving at that point wasn’t really what I wanted.

I would have wanted to wait a few more months, find a really nice job and then make the jump. For more money, for a better compensation and a jump that made sense. I couldn’t do that because of Mr.Fuckingmoron and hence had to settle for something that I regretted within 45 days of joining. All because of this bastard. I had to rush and I had to go before I was ready. The fear is there and the fear is real. If I end up without a job it could mean a lot of difficulty, especially if I don’t find a replacement job within the next 30 days of losing the current one I have. That would a disaster, one I am not sure of how I could recover from. If it is within 30 days I am sure that I can bounce back easily.

I would like to blog more about the circumstances that lead to me making the decision to jump from my previous job but I am in a hurry now. I’ll leave it for a later post, when I have more time to put my thoughts together and form it properly.

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RIP : Jani Lane

Jani Lane former singer & songwriter for rock band Warrant was found dead on the  evening of August 11, at a Los Angeles-area hotel. He was 47 years old. His body was discovered at the Comfort Inn hotel in Woodland Hills, California. So far, no official cause of death has been released.

On July 23, Lane took part in a taping of an upcoming episode of the “That Metal Show” alongside Michael Sweet (STRYPER) and Taime Downe (FASTER PUSSYCAT). The program featuring Lane is scheduled to air on October 1 on VH1 Classic.

Lane was the frontman for successful band Warrant during their heydays, releasing the multi-platinum albums DRFSR (1989) & Cherry Pie (1990). Fame, fortune, world tours, top 40 & top 10 singles and the glamourous lifestyle followed. Despite 1992’s critically acclaimed & much darker record, Dog Eat Dog, Warrant would be pushed to the backburner in the onslaught of grunge and the fans & money soon became less. The band then recorded Ultraphobic in 1995, Belly to Belly in 1996, Greatest & Latest in 1999 and a cover album Under the Influence in 2001.

Jane left at this point, citing personal & business difference with the rest of Warrant and until 2008 distanced himself away from the rest. For a brief summer tour of 2008 the original members of Warrant all reunited (they’ve been having lots of members join & drop out) and performed a summer tour but by September Jani left again, mutually agreeing with the band to leave. He continue to do solo shows and writing songs for other artists. He has two solo albums Jabberwocky & Back Down To One (2003)and one with the side project Saints Of The Underground. In the summer of 2010, Lane went on tour with Great White, filling in for singer Jack Russell, who was recuperating from surgery after suffering internal complications.

You will be missed a lot Jani.

Jani Lane (born John Kennedy Oswald, February 1, 1964 – August 11, 2011)