True Blood – Season 2

Season 2 explorers Sookie’s relationship with Bill Compton while Bill also has to deal with his progeny Jessica, the 17 year old girl he was forced to make into a vampire. At the start of the season Eric Northman, the sheriff of Area 5, invites Bill & Sookie to his club as he wants to recruit Sookie to find his maker, Godric. Tara who has been forsaken by her mother (a jealous recovering alcoholic who wants to get back to Jesus & the church) is taken under the wings of the mysterious Maryann Forrester, a mysterious social worker. Maryann is actually an ancient maenad, a supernatural being devoted to Dionysus (Greek god), in search of a supernatural being to sacrifice as an offering to bring Dionysus back to earth.

Maryann introduces Tara to ‘Eggs’ Benedict Talley, a young man she also ‘rescued’ and the two begin a relationship. Meanwhile Sookie travels with Bill & Jessica to Dallas. Jason feels that he has been given a new lease of life and a sign from Jesus and joins the Light of Day Church, an orthodox & vampire hating group. There he is given military training and goes high up in the ranks of the group due to his abilities and because the church leader rev Steve Newlin has taken a liking to him. Jason has also seemingly had a good impression on Newlin’s wife Sarah and although he tries to avoid her affections, he finally succumbs and has sex with her. Lafayette is captured by Eric and kept in a dungeon for weeks but is later given an option to do business for Eric, of trading V, which the short order cook reluctantly accepts.

In Dallas Sookie agrees to join forces with a fellow human Hugo, who is the boyfriend of the vampire Isabel and pretend to be a newly engaged couple who are looking for a church to get married in. They pretend to be vampire haters and ask for a tour of the church & surrounding hoping that Sookie will be able to read their minds and find out where Godric is being kept. However at the church the two of them are trapped in a basement as they know who they were sent by. Later it turns out that Hugo was in league with the church members and had betrayed his vampire lover. One of rev. Newlin’s men attempts to rape Sookie but is stopped by Godric. After he helps Sookie leave the basement he reveals to Eric that he wasn’t being held captive against his will but he complied as he was curious about the church. Jason & Bill arrive to take Sookie back and in a brief fight the vampires win and leave with Jason & Sookie and bring Hugo to their Dallas headquarters. However the place is bombed by one of the church’s members who sneaks in and explodes a bomb strapped to him. A few people & vampires die.

Back in Bon Tempes things have gotten out of hand. Maryann finds pleasure in hosting giant orgies, creating mayhem and chaos and witnessing pure lust. She controls the actions of the inhabitants of Bon Temps by putting a bizarre spell on them, which turns their eyes completely black and has them do her bidding. She also has a history with Sam and wants to kill him as an offering to Dionysus as she is aware of Sam’s true nature as a shapeshifter. She has a fellow shapeshifter Daphne join Sam’s bar as a waitress and reveal her abilities to him. The two begin an affair but Daphen is only doing Maryann’s bidding. When Sookie & Bill come back to her house, they find it taken over by Maryann & her followers, indulging in binge drinking & eating and fornicating out in the open. Bill is unable to affect Maryann but Sookie seems to have powers to thwart her. Maryann has Sookie agree to be her maid of honour in her marriage to Dionysus on the threat that she will kill Jason, who is also under the spell. Sookie agrees and the town folks all go to search for Sam and bring him to be sacrificed. They succeeds in capturing Sam and Eggs slides a knife in his heart, but Bill saves Sam. Sam, shifting into a white bull, has Maryann believe Dionysus has returned to earth. Hence Maryann drops her supernatural shields and Sam, still in the guise of a white bull, is able to kill Maryann for good. After she is killed the town returns to their senses and have no memory of what they had done under Maryann’s influence.

This season also sees a blossoming romance between Jessica and Hoyt, a co-worker of Jason. And the storyline also features Bill’s backstory of being a solider who was turned into a vampire by Lorena with whom he had a long relationship before asking to be released by her. She wants him back and will do anything for it to happen. At the end of the season Eggs learns that it was he who killed 3 women and ripped out their hearts for Maryann and he holds deputy Andy Bellefleur at knife-point begging to be arrested. Believing it to be an attack, Jason shoots him dead but Andy wipes the gun clean and takes the blame himself and tells Jason to leave. And at a dinner outside of Bon Tempes Bill proposes to Sookie but while she is in the bathroom trying to find an answer, Bill is captured with a silver chain and kidnapped. When she returns, she finds that Bill is gone and the place is in disarray.

Chinese Farmer’s Daughter

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. “I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”

“Ok,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”

“Well, that’s pretty crappy,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”