“Oh won’t you come to my funeral when my days are done” – Crash Test Dummies.
On my deathbed is the time when things from my earliest memories to stuff that just happened a day or two ago will be playing in my mind, like a movie reel that goes fast but focusing on just a few highlights here and there. That is provided ofcourse that I retain my memory towards the end of my life. As death approaches do things get clearer or do they start to fade away? I cannot be certain so I shall wait for that particular moment to come and find out for myself.
I suppose I will start with my childhood and go onto adolescence and then my teenage rebellious years and my 20s and 30s and whichever decades that I do get to live out after now and before my death. I will think about the best things that I have experienced and the deepest regrets and pains that I have felt and try to be at peace with them. I shall think of friends come and gone and family & loved ones. I shall try not to think about the enemies and bad people who I encountered throughout this life, no need to waste precious time on them. But I guess the regrets will be the ones I will spend more time on – for I shall not have another opportunity to remedy them. Sigh, such is life.
I shall then close my eyes, think of something good and keep a smile on my face and welcome the nothingness that will envelop me as death takes over. I was not alive for billions of years before and I had a brief existence as a lifeform on this beautiful planet and I am lucky. Now it is the end. Goodbye and goodnight to the universe, for it is now time to cease to exist.