March 12, 2013 | Awake & Dreaming

I’m gonna try and recollect this very vivid dream that I had when I was a child. I must have been around 8 or 9 years old when I dreamed this but I remember most of it so vividly since I used to tell this to my family & relatives a lot and hence had kept most of it fresh in memory.

I was in Kuwait at the time and 8 or 9 year old me, in the dream, went from my apartment to the apartment opposite ours, where our family friends and my close friends at the time lived. When I opened the door instead of my friends greeting me, I saw a big cat sitting on one of the sofa chairs. Wanting to get it outside, I picked it up and was about to put it out on the corridor when it scratched me on my eyes with it’s paw. I closed my eyes in pain and I blacked out. When I came to I opened my eyes to see the smiling face of one of the boys in my class looking down at me. Surprised to see him in that apartment, I asked him for help but he just snapped his head and the buckle of his winter cap hit me in the eyes and I blacked out again. When I came to, I was in a huge airport!

Now not able to make any sense of what had just happened or how I had happened to get there, I knew I needed help. I saw some cops coming after me and I knew I was in danger. I walked away from them and as I turned around a corner, I noticed a huge swimming pool, with ice in it! What the heck was an icy swimming pool doing in the airport???!! And when I looked into the waters, I see Bollywood superstar Dharmendra in it and beckoning to me to follow him as a means of escaping from the cops. So I jumped it (I didn’t know swimming in real life at the time but whatever) and followed him. We made our way underwater and swam away from that area to another section of this huge airport and I happily got out and thanked him. I managed to get myself dry with towels from a sweet lady who pretended that I was traveling with her and she managed to get me a ticket (I had my passport with me, magically) and we rode the airport bus to the plane and then boarded the plane to India. As soon as we landed, I thanked her and I hitched a ride all the way to Mattancherry which is where my mother’s home was. However when I got there, the roads were all turned to sand due to a heavy sand storm and I met an uncle of mine, who let me into my grandparent’s house.

I then went to sleep in one of the rooms and woke up still tired and starving. I made some sandwiches in the kitchen and once I ate them I went to the living room to watch some tv. I was alone in the house and surprised to see that the tv was setup high on the wall on and I couldn’t find the remote control. So I tried jumping to reach the switch to turn it on but it was too high for me. One last attempt saw me hit the switch and the tv came on but…as I fell down, I knocked the tv down as well and it fell and hit me right on the head ~ which is when I woke up! Weird dream right?

Dear 100 year old me

I hope you have remembered to put on your heavy thick glasses because, grandpa, you should know that you can’t read anything without them on. Do you have them on? Good. How are you you old fart? You just turned 100 you say. Holy crap that is ancient, dude. I can see that all the remaining hair on your head is completely white. But dude, what’s with your pubes that it is also snow white! And can you even get it up anymore? No, didn’t think so. When was the last time you were able to get it up, 20 years ago?

There now, don’t fall asleep on me. I know you are 100 years old but geeze old man, stay awake for the duration of this letter atleast. So does it feel to be a 100 and outlive all the people your age and a lot of people younger than you as well? Bet you are glad that you signed that long term insurance deal / cable tv package / cell phone connection now aren’t you? What’s that, you don’t even remember what your friends or family members looked like anymore? That’s a shame. So how do you spend your days other than napping 6 times a day and peeing & pooping in a pan? How’s that hot home nurse you have at your beck and call? Did you ever pinch her butt? No – not even once? Everyday?- atta boy!

So Rosh did you ever think that you’d ever live to be a 100? Not the greatest thing in the world is it? I mean young people seem to like you and want to take a picture with you but it’s not anything great. You can’t do much so you are confined to yoru house, sitting in your big comfy chair or lying in bed. Once a day that hot nurse takes you in your wheelchair for a spin around the house and the street but each time you get confused as to is it the same place or not as your memory isn’t what it used to be. And you can’t read or watch tv anymore. And it’s no fun falling asleep and peeing in your pants. What is it that you miss the most of your youth?

Do you have many regrets? Do you want to live a few more years or do you wish it could all end now? Was it worth it to live on for a century? Don’t you just hate being all alone with all that you loved and who loved you long gone?