Spiritual Machines

Machines, appliances, and gadgets sometimes feel like they have their own personalities — from quirky cars to dignified food processors. What’s the most “human” machine you own?

I happen to think most appliances, machines and gadgets have their own personalities once you get to use them for a while. Initially everything is just lifeless but after a few weeks you notice the traits and quirkiness of your devices. Like you computers and your smartphones. Even you washing machine. Our washing machine, bought 8 years ago, is a real bitch. Plus she moves around quite a lot when we use her. And at an angle, always at an angle. I am the one who usually moved her back in place. It’s a small space where we keep her, at one end of the kitchen, so I just go in the gap and push her with my hip and ass.

Hmmm I don’t use that many stuff, I barely watch tv anymore so I wouldn’t notice anything about it but yeah the remote control acts like crazy. And why wouldn’t it when my dad drops it on the floor a dozen times a week? The remote should be going fucking bonkers by now. Atleast mom is more careful about stuff like that. I don’t use a stereo system anymore. My phone is ofcourse a character. I need to replce her as soon as I get some money together cause it is really getting outdated. I want a new phone. And a new laptop! Ugh! Sometime next year I guess. No money now.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

Death Do Us Part

Death Do Us Part is a low budget Canadian indi-horror flick of the slasher genre. Directed by Nicholas Humphries the movie was co-written & co-produced by Ryan Copple, Peter Benson &  Julia Benson. The movie stars married couple Julia & Peter Benson, Emillie Ullerup, Kyle Cassie, Benjamin Ayers, Christine Chatelain, Dave Colette & Aaron Douglas. The movie was shot in a remote location on the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia, Canada.

Kennedy Jamieson is a wealthy socialite who has waited her whole life to have the perfect wedding. Engaged to the charming Ryan Harris, the young couple is just a week away from the big day but hasn’t had a chance to celebrate their respective bachelor/bachelorette parties. Ryan’s best man Chet books has booked them a remote cabin in the woods to throw them a ‘Jack and Jill’ stag that they’ll never forget. Joining them on the trip other than Chet is Kennedy’s sister Hannah & her best friend Emily as well as Ryan’s shady cousin Derek. On their way to the cabin it is obvious that they may not like each other; Chet used to go out with Hannah but she thinks he is very immature and all the girls find Derek a bit creepy while he & Chet seem to be inches away from a fight. Derek has been dealing drugs and Ryan doesn’t want him to ruin what could be a great weekend.

The caretaker of the cabin turns out to be a super creepy weirdo named Bo, who tells them that they can’t party at the cabin – what the fuck would 6 adults do in a remote place you idiot? – and shows them the place, which has dead birds in the front porch. After Bo cleans up a bit the party of 6 settles in – Ryan and the girls will take the cabin while Derek & Chet will share a trailer next to it. Hannah goes for a run into the woods where she meets up with Ryan and they have sex against a tree! Seems this has been going on for a while. Only problem is Emily, who was creeped out when she caught Derek leering at her from a window while she was changing, was on a walk by her own and saw the whole thing and she is shocked. While this is happening Bo, sneaks into the couple’s bathroom and leers at Kennedy taking a shower. As evening sets the parting & drinking starts as they dance and play games. Bo comes in outta nowhere and demands that they stop partying but the group promises to clean everything up before they leave. Emily gives a necklace to Kennedy who informs her that she & Ryan will be moving to NYC after the wedding, which upsets Emily. A little later Derek, who has been hounded by calls from drug dealers, asks Ryan to get $20,000 to bail him out as Kennedy’s family is loaded but Ryan refuses, saying he can’t and they have a little fight, which is also seen by Emily.

While Hannah & Chet and Kennedy & Ryan pair off to play a scavenger hunt, Derek walks out in the woods and is killed by an unseen assailant with an axe. The others panic and regroup in the house and find the phones all destroyed and the lights out. They try to leave but get separated and one by one they are picked out for death by the unseen assailant. Chet is killed in his trailer and dragged out to the woods, while Emily is also found next to him. The assailant has also messed with their vehicle so no one is escaping in the night. Hannah is offed next by the assailant wearing a mask. Suspicion falls on Ryan, as Emily had confessed to Kennedy that she had seen Ryan having sex with Hannah and that she has seen him punch Derek, and Kennedy runs away from him and she is finally able to get a knife and stab him while he attacks her. A distraught Kennedy walks into the cabin and puts on her wedding dress as she contemplates her life ruined and as she steps out she finds Emily staggering towards her. Emily says she was only dazed and pretending to be dead to hide from the killer and the two friends are about to leave when Emily blurts out and blurts out details of the ways the others died – which she couldn’t have seen as she was supposed to lying unconscious.

Kennedy realizes that it was Emily who was the killer all along and accuses her of killing the other 4. Emily cries and says that she killed them for Kennedy as Derek was dangerous and Hannah & Ryan were cheating on her. She admits that she got carried away and killed Bo & Chet but now the two best friends could be together. An angered Kennedy attacks Emily and stabs her. Leaving her for dead she walks away but Emily comes to and attacks her from behind and smashes her dead with a large rock. She walks away and is picked up by a cop car and taken to the sheriffs office where a deputy listens to her story. Emily tells the events that happens, pretending to  be Kennedy and at the end, clearly out of her mind, picks up a pen and stabs the deputy and leaves the station.

The low budget aspect really stands out; the killing scenes are bad and lack any real gore. The plot though good with it’s twists, is hampered by some corny & cliched dialogues though the acting is ok. I do wonder why mid 30 year old would act like 20 somethings though, especially Chet & Derek. It’s like a group of friends went to party in the woods and shot a film. Production is not bad for such a low effort and it clearly isn’t aiming to be anything more than what it is – an indie flick with a cast of tv actors. 5 outta 10!