March 20, 2018 | Awake & Dreaming

Well it looks like the problem is solved. Finally, after well over 4 days and many,many phone calls and complaints and emails later, Asianet had determined that the problem was —- drum roll please —– the new modem that they had given me and come to install just over a week ago!

Yes, by my count I have called them over 20+ times during the past 30 days or so. I have emailed them 5 to 6 times. I have raised complaints and I have made them escalate and finally it was so simple they could have done this days ago. There must have been nothing wrong with my old modem but they determined that the several outages I have been facing recently was due to a modem fault. And so they gave me a new one – which was faulty! They came and changed the charger but that was not it.

So today a guy came in, the same guy who gave me the previous replacement, and had a new one installed and changed the charger too. It’s been working fine since 1:20 pm. We’ll see how this goes. I had thought of going over on Friday and cancelling my connection and getting one from Airtel. Asianet does have the best plans though and they are economical. But if they keep this up I will have to cancel.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

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And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.