1. Blonde: âWhat does IDK mean?â
Brunette: âI donât know.â
Blonde: âOMG, nobody does!â
2. Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they donât wake up the sleeping pills.
3. How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write âflipâ on both sides of a sheet of paper.
4. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says âlather, rinse, repeat.â
5. Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said it was for â2 to 4 years.â
6. What did the blonde say after glimpsing a box of Cheerios?
âOMG! Donut seeds!â
7. Whatâs every blondeâs dream in life?
To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
8. How do you know if a blondeâs been using your computer?
Youâll find Wite Out all over the screen.
9. Why do blondes love boob jobs?
Itâs really the only job theyâre qualified for.
10. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
âI wonder if itâs mine.â
11. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
Because they say âconcentrate.â
12. Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
She was trying to make apple juice.
13. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They both swallow a lot of sea men (aka semen).
14. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
15. Why donât blondes talk during sex?
Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.
16. Three blondes walk into a building.
Youâd think at least one of them wouldâve seen it.
17. How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.
18. What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
19. What do you call a blond with an actual brain?
A golden retriever.
20. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
Someone told her drinks were on the house.
21. Whatâs the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
22. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?
Microwave them.
23. Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
To avoid getting hearing AIDS.
24. What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.
25. How do you confuse a blonde?
You donât. Theyâre born that way.
26. Why do blondes make awful bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
27. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
28. Why couldnât the blonde dial 911?
She couldnât find the eleven.
29. Whyâd the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the Wâs.
30. Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears?
Because theyâre desperately trying to hold in a thought.