A Jew, a Muslim, a Catholic, and a Mormon are shipwrecked on a small desert island. They have very little food and water, and the situation is perilous.
The Muslim finds a corner of the beach, prostrates himself, and prays to Allah for succor.
The Mormon finds a different corner and prays fervently to God.
The Catholic heads for a palm tree, sits down, and begins reciting the rosary non-stop, her beads miraculously having survived the wreck.
The Jew continues hanging out by the shore, picking up a shell now and then, and occasionally skipping rocks.
After a little while, the Muslim, Mormon, and Catholic realize that the Jew’s just idly staring off into the distance, whistling a little tune, instead of doing everything possible to get them saved. They confront the Jew and say, “Hey, you jerk! We’re all doing the best we can to get a little divine intervention here! How about you help us cover your base, eh?”
The Jew just smiles for a moment. Then she says, “Well, over the past ten years, I’ve donated about $20,000 to the Jewish Federation.”
The Catholic, outraged, replies, “So what? What does that have to do with anything?”
The Jew answers, “Don’t worry. They’ll find me.”
A man takes advantage of a deserted beach by a lake to skinny dip.
Then three church ladies from the nearby local Christian congregation (insert name of church of your choice) arrive and set up a picnic lunch. They are sitting between the lake and the man’s clothes. They seem unaware of his presence. He is getting tired and cold, and finally can’t stand waiting. He grabs a towel from the shore, wraps it around his head, and runs for the spot where his clothes are.
The three church ladies all agree this is shocking.
The first church lady says, “I’m glad he is not my husband.”
The second church lady says, “I’m glad he is not my husband either.”
The third church lady says, “He’s not even a member of our congregation.”