3 Indian Jokes

An American couple visits India for the first time. As they are wandering around in the markets the wife notices a sign that she finds extremely aesthetic. She proceeds to draw it out and once they return to the US, She knits a sweater with that design on the front.

The days go by and all her friends find the sweater very pretty and very ethnic so they ask what does it mean and the woman tells them about the story of that Indian Town.

Since they were so fascinated by India the couple decides to visit again, this time taking that sweater with them. As soon as they arrive in India they notice everyone behaving very strange and couldn’t understand why. They continued their journey and finally got to meet an intellectual that would help them figure out their lives. They ask the very first question about the perplexing behavior of the locals and seek for an answer.

The monk says- “that sweater you are wearing is the problem”

Wife- why? Is it like cursed or something??

The monk calmly replied- It reads ‘Get milk here’ in Hindi


Johnny walks in the room and looks at his wife and says “baby. if you were in India they would worship you”

His wife responds while blushing “does that mean I’m a goddess”

He smiles and says “no you’re a cow”


An Indian man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that each country has a separate hell and one may opt to sign up for any of them.

He goes first to the German hell and asks, ‘What do they do here?’ He is told, ‘First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes and whips you for the rest of the day. The man does not like the sound of it at all, and so he goes to the American hell. Here too he is told the same routine: ‘First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the American devil comes and whips you for the rest of the day.’ He then tries a few other hells and gets the same answer to his question.

Then finally he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long queue of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, ‘What do they do here?’ And to his surprise, once again he receives the same answer.

He exclaims, ‘What the hell! That’s exactly the same as all the other hells-so what’s the long queue for?”

He receives the response: ‘Because maintenance is so bad, the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Government of India bureaucrat – so he comes in, signs the register and then goes off to the cafeteria…’

Eggnog Preparation

Ingredients

4 egg yolks

1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon

1 pint whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

3 ounces bourbon

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

4 egg whites

Directions

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved.

2. Add the milk, cream, bourbon and nutmeg and stir to combine.

3. Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With the mixer still running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.

4. Whisk the egg whites into the mixture. Chill and serve.

Cook’s Note: For cooked eggnog, follow procedure below.

5. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Set aside.

6. In a medium saucepan, over high heat, combine the milk, heavy cream and nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat and gradually temper the hot mixture into the egg and sugar mixture. Then return everything to the pot and cook until the mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour into a medium mixing bowl, and set in the refrigerator to chill.

7. In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. With the mixer running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Whisk the egg whites into the chilled mixture.