1. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

2. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear.”

3. My wife gave birth four times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth 0 times and I haven’t fit in my pants since March.

4. Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

5. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

6. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time!