My Biggest & Most Bitter Regret

What is your biggest regret?
My biggest regret is the fact that I am alone and a single guy at the age of 46. I never ever expected that to happen when I was younger. Never in a million years. I have had my crushes and a couple of relationships but I have been mostly single since the age of 22. When I was a teenager I used to think that I would meet an awesome girl my age and we’d fall in love and begin our relationship and date and eventually get married by the time I was 27-28 and move in together. And that it would be me, my woman and my dog Shawny living in a nice small house and we’d have such a loving relationship. I have always dreamed about it.

Even after I my long time relationship for over 6 years broke, I still had some hope in me. For the next 3 years I didn’t think it would happen, even though I met a few girls I liked, but by the age of 26 I as very hopeful. I kept wishing that I would find a wonderful young lady, who would ease the pain and heartbreak I had suffered from my very first long term relationship and make me forget the negative side and let me fall in love again. Once again, I did have a couple of crushes but nothing ever materialized from any of it – and all of a sudden I hit 30! Oh no, I as supposed to haven been married by now.

I remember just after I turned 30, we were having lunch one day and my parents asked me if they should look for a match for me. Like an arranged marriage. And I said no, if I find someone I would tell them. And that’s because arranged marriage is not the way for me. I don’t hate it but its’ not something that I would want to do. And then years passed on by. At 31 I fell in love but no luck. At 33 I found out that a woman actually had feelings for me. Again no luck. I began to think that nothing as gonna happen. The ages of 35 to 38 the thought of finding a woman was further from my mind as I was struggling financially and job wise.

And then I was happier but I thought ok, I am 39 now, time is running out soon. Still no luck. I have had a couple of crushes but nothing serious. And then Covid hit and since late 2021 I have been in bad health. I can’t imagine finding a woman now as it’s easier to be in a relationship and then have these issues. I am now 46 and will turn 47 in August. The big 50 is just a little over 3 years away. The dream is fading away to just wisps of smoke and then into nothingness. I guess I will end up alone. No…..I know I will end up alone.

Prompt from 30 BLOG POST IDEAS FOR APRIL at A Grande Life