Every year when it comes around to my birthday I go into a semi-depression. I take a good look in the mirror and I see back upon on my life as it has been so far. And I get depressed. I am no where I wanted to be when I was younger and had dreams and hopes. I had my little wish of being a married man, with a loving wife and partner, with my own place or should I say our own place and at a better time in my life.
I don’t have any of that. I don’t have my own place. I am not married and neither do I have a girlfriend. Funny, a few years ago I thought I had accepted the fact that I would never find love but I guess as the days and weeks pass, it gets harder to just accept the fact that I will always be alone. I am not where I want to be financially and I would like to change my job but it is kinda tough during these times. I would also like a change of place and pace and move away.
Thinking about all of these things makes me feel sad. I look for ways to keep myself or rather my mind busy and during the waking hours I kind of manage to do that. When I go to bed that is another thing altogether. I think that is why it takes a very long time for me to fall asleep unless I am very tired. Oh well, another year is upon me.