Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “fuck the children” and the Priest says “do you think we’ll have time”

Boy goes to Confession Boy ” What are you doing father” Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it” Boy ” Why do you say that father” Priest ” Cause my hand is getting tired”