My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”
The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”
“Yeah, that’s the one!”
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.